I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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