the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Sorry about my life...
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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