That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
