i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
