Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
