My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
