You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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