so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
