Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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