you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
She made me pour olive oil on her.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
