I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
