Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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