I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
