I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You have to summon your inner elephant
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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