Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
