so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
