physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize