"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
