so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize