What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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