I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
