Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize