Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
