Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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