he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You are the jesus of drinking
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
