when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize