Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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