Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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