I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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