Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
