To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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