Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
