In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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