You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
