I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
i think i just lost a toe
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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