absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
