All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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