you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
