The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
