Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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