Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
