I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
