mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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