if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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