He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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