I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
tell your sister to shave her snatch
my sisters under your porch take her home
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
