i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
