Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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