shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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