I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
