dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
