census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
