dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
