We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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