I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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