Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
