better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
