btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
