My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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