if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
