well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
the day after is always just damage control
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
