I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I will be naked everywhere
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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