So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
