either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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