gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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