i would punch a child for taco bell
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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