I don't usually arrange sex via text message
It's Friday. Sex?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize