About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Vodka?
Forever.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Randomize
