That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
